Nearly Midnight News – July 26


Folodu approaches the channel with a pole and ball tied to the end, sticking the ball into the channel carefully. Nothing special happens … and then Dayahnya instantly flings herself at the ball, and latches on. “SHINY!Shiinnnnnyy..”

Zheif says, “you forgot to rub it with catnip.”

“….It’s…Ah…it works? Well – the first items of news is unproven, now.”

Alexson says, “Do you have more anchovies for me?”

Folodu walks the rest of the way into the channel. “I might – and I might not…” Shehands over the pole-with-ball and digs into pack. “Tuna flavored spam?Just as much salt, and half the flavor.”

Alexson says, “Yummy”

Folodu walks around Daya suspiciously. “So – shall we?”

Dayahnya stares at Folodu.

Folodu cringes and ducks behind a large acorn desk. ”Keep the foul beastie from me! It eats props!”

Dayahnya blinks. “… I didn’t eat it. I latched onto it.”

Folodu picks up a clustering of paper, holding it up like a shield. “Sure sure…that’s what they all say, before…”

Dayahnya flies around suddenly, in Unseelie form.

“Ah! The Dark Court rides! Flee! Flee the Wild Hunt!” She ducks under the desk.

Alexson grabs the paper, and marks down a bunch of jibber jabber on her 2nd story, then puts it back while she looks up at the camera.

Folodu looks out from under the desk. “Is it gone? I think we might be safe…No one make any sudden movement…” She climbs into the chair and picks the papers up.

Alexson says, “*looks around mischievously*”

Folodu peers around the corner. “Welcome to tonight’s Nearly Midnight News. Oh my goodness, I’ve been doing this for a month edition!”

Dayahnya flies right into Folodu’s face.

Folodu is smacked in the face with Unseelie and passes out.

Akhutai changes channel to Cartoon Network. “Oh. It’s on there, too.”

Folodu twitches and jolts awake, then shoves the Unseelie from the desk. “Ewwww…..”

Shizouka offers Folodu a cup of turkish coffee*.

Folodu takes it and drains it. “Thank you ohmygodverymuchthisisthebestever!”

Dayahnya flies around above Folodu’s head, like an annoying buzzing fly.

Alexson says, “Coffee with turkey in it? ewww that doesn’t sound tasty”

Folodu swats at the Unseelie. “So! News!”

Dayahnya zips around past the reach of Folodu.

“Our first item comes from Everfrost, where the dreaded Kra’Thuk, a beast of Epic Proportion has been slain! Asking the adventurers about their triumph, the general consensus was “But where’s the loot?” One of them even cut into the creature looking. It was quite a mess, to be sure, and we will be eating well at NMN for a least two hours.”

Alexson shows video footage of the creature’s innards.

Taelae asks, “Were there any quotes of these adventurers thinking they thought it smelled bad on the outside?”

Dayahnya dives at Folodu’s head again, cackling with evil glee.

“Smell bad? What is smell? I only get the faint hint of pixel…*holds up the paper like a shield unphased* In much disappointment, they only took home shiny badges saying they had done it.”

Caraz pushes Folo off a cliff- “And in closing, the news has been canceled.
Karmac swoops down on his flying mount and saves Folodu!
Folodu hardly notices, as she is strapped securely to the desk for some ungodly reason.

“In other news, a terrible accident befell the Children’s Petting Zoo in Qeynos today. It seems one of the tigers did not like the look of one performer’s finger puppets, and removed the problem entirely. The Finger puppets are being recovered. They are hoping the fingers might survive, but it is not the primary concern. The tiger has been rewarded for fine efforts, but the puppets were a prize possession, and the staff would like them back.”

Dayahnya says, “*pursues Folodu, buzzing around horribly*”

“In other news, the Wild Hunt has been cancelled due to budgeting. Anyone caught flying without express permits will be fined heavily.”

“A no-fly zone has been issued over Thundermist Village today after the pesky buggers got into the grain stores. Anyone good with chopsticks is asked to assist as soon as possible. The bear-cabbage of some small fame has gone missing from the Freeport Reliquary today. Anyone having vegetable bites is told to seek immediate treatment and is advised to avoid soups. Attacks will be known by the faint scent of cabbage, the loss of a foot, and drymouth.”

“Gravity has been discovered in Klak’Anon today when one of the flying clockworks malfunctioned for the first time. It was brought to an untimely end when it smashed into a grouping of rocks before a gnome, who immediately blew the remains up. We are not entirely certain how such a thing was missed to begin with, but we assume the gnomes know what they are doing.”


“Neriak has assembled an All-Freeblood league for a new endeavor in sports tonight. Asked how that will work, they report that those who owe the Dark Bargainers will be the sports drinks. While this might unsettle some, the Arasai seem to find it fascinating. Field tests begin in the morning, and all debtors are asked to report to the nearest field.”


“In weather today, the west wind blew until the canaries dropped from their cages. We are fairly certain this is not a bad sign, and everyone is asked to get some strips of adhesive, just in case. In other weather, Karana has once again made it rain. While the faithful are impressed, most everyone else has seen this before.”

“I am Folodu Amrunrosse, and this has been the Nearly Midnight News.”

Author: Jethal