I want a new Merc

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I want a new Merc. (MP3 Download Here)
– Parody of I want a new drug by Huey Lewis

I want a new Merc
One that looks real slick
One that’ll have my back
And take’m out, real quick

I want a new Merc
One that’ll take a hit
One that’ll guard my flanks
One that wont run and quit

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One that won’t leave me helpless
One that won’t leave me screwed
One that knows how to tank, to heal or knows kung-fu..
Oh wait, his payments due..

I want a new Merc
One that won’t steal my drink
One that won’t put his ale on my tab
One that’ll wash, one that wont stink

I want a new Merc
One that won’t run away
One that’ll stand and fight all night
One that wont keep me up all day

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One who’ll take on dragons
One who’ll stay by my side
One who’ll keep me on his mind and help me not to die
and won’t eat all my pie..

I want a new Merc
One that won’t push too hard
One that knows where to draw the line
One that won’t punch that guard..

I want a new Merc
One that’ll do what I say
One that follow my lead
One that won’t go astray

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One that’ll make me look good
One that’ll be my friend
One who’ll keep my payments low, when it’s time to mend
And be sure to not offend.. or it’s his end, baby..

Author: Jethal