Santa Claus

BumpMapFrame

Santa Claus, high above the North Pole in his cloud-borne castle equipped with more surveillance devices than the Impossible Mission Force, prepares to deliver presents on Christmas night. Santa is especially interested in helping Lupita, the daughter of a poor family who wants nothing more than a doll; and a young boy whose parents are so wealthy they never spend any time with him (Santa fixes this by feeding them Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters). However, the Devil will have none of this and sends his minion, Pitch, to foil Santa’s plans. Pitch in turn recruits three Naughty Boys to help him set traps for Santa.

Oh boy.. where to begin.

There are no elves. Santa is assisted by children from all over the world. And the first third of the movie is dedicated to showing these teams in their native costumes.. including african children, holding spears.. yeah.

Why is Merlin in this story!? Oh god.. I will say that it wasn’t absolutely horrible, the story showed brief signs of being somewhat good, but then there are an equal amount of corny craziness that just makes it almost unwatchable.

Obviously, this film was made for children. Like.. small children.. so, I have to give it some leeway. I think it’ll go without saying that it doesn’t hold up and no one over the age of 5 would enjoy it, today.

Author: Jethal