Nerd Riots in the Streets


Breaking news, coming from all over the globe as EverQuest 2 experienced outages across all Servers, Forums and even

News from (mostly) reliable sources tell us that Riots have broken out in San Diego, Boston, Dallas and Intercourse Pennsylvania. Sending hundreds of thousands of Nerds into the Streets, who would have been (normally) occupied by hunting Gnolls, Orcs and Dragons, or messing around with hot wenches in role play taverns in Qeynos, Freeport and Neriak.. mostly Neriak.  yeah.. mostly Neriak.

Hundreds of innocent bystanders have reported being “Pelted by Ping-pong balls” which were marked with names of various spells, resists and charms.

Two young Nerds were arrested after being found in the Womens Showers of the YWCA in Toad-Suck Arkansas (yes, that’s a real town).  The pair were huddled under a blanket with the words “Superior Camouflage (Master)” crudely stenciled in white paint on both sides.

Tiffany “Amnerys” Spence, Community Manager for EverQuest 2, reported at 2pm:

EQII is up and running, however the SOE forums and websites are still experiencing some downtime due to emergency maintenance. We’ll have them back up as soon as we can

Aimee “Ashlanne” Rekoske, Project Manager for Sony Online Entertainment responded to our inquiry stating:

Today’s downtime was for a matter of Emergency Maintenance.

Ashlanne also commented on rumors that the issue was caused by “Hamsters chewing on cables”, “Gnolls running amok at SOE Headquarters” and “Sudden increases of Frogluk populations” with an emphatic “NO”.  When pressed further, she denied any cover ups and recreational jumjum use in the office.

As we were being hauled away and viciously beaten by SOE Security – who we can only equate to Trolls on PCP – we were reminded that “Things Happen” and that patience is a great virtue when dealing with technical difficulties, which usually don’t come with advanced warnings.

Editor’s Note:  The Riot in Intercourse PA was for a completely unrelated situation.

Author: Jethal