Nearly Midnight News – July 28 (Guest Coverage)


July 28th was filled by guest anchors…Folodu was on a raid.

Zetharian: “In celebrity news Foludu has been fired from the Norrathian news network… ”

Folodu: “yay! *goes on vacation, permanently*”

Taelae: “*plunks down at a hastily made desk and starts making up the news as she goes along* Tonight….Kerrans getting into the nip?”

Latesh: “Shaved Kerran streaks the capital, film at 11”

Drakkarious: “That was completely not my fault.”

Koehki: “*tunes in*”

Folodu: “First Gnomish Invention that DOESNT blow up!”

Taelae: “Melago has been seen talking to Antonia about turning one of the defunct boroughs into a Muffin District.”

Taelae: “Antonia is said to have declined after sampling the wares Mels provided and finding a large black Ratonga hair in her morning muffin.”

Taelae: “Out of Neriak tonight…Queen Christanos is said to be looking for a few good eunichs….to shave her legs. It’s that time of year again and she needs those interested and willing to undergo the rigorous training cuts to come in.”

Zetharian: “Christanos eats her leg fur.”

Taelae: “This just in! A new Gnomish invention has been offered to the Queens of Norrath. *reads the paper she is given* Eppical Lady? Epic Lady?? OH! Eppi Lady! Yes, they are offering their new and now improved Eppi Lady”

Taelae: “Guaranteed not to blow up in your face! Results may vary and they won’t be held responsible for maimings or potential loss of… *reads* Oh my!”

Taelae: “I don’t think I can report that… er…Ladies and gentlemen…let’s just say that they aren’t liable and leave it at that?”

Taelae: “OH! The wedding! Yes, yes I’m getting to that. A wedding took place today between two people.”

Taelae: “I know! It’s like something is in the water.”

Taelae: “Wasn’t it someone dressed as Lucan in drag who did the wedding today?”

Taelae: “*leafs through her papers* I could have sworn I read that…”

Taelae: “Oh! There it is! Yes. Khimyra is quoted as saying she helped the Lucan impersonator get ready.”

Folodu: “That’s so anti-lucanic!”

Taelae: “The worst part was when at the kiss Lucan kissed the groom. Everyone knows his rights only extend to the BRIDE!”

Taelae: “On to Lavastorm news…Tragedy struck Lavastorm tonight when the New Halas Norrathian Team went to Lavastorm for the Norrathian Games and were not prepared for the water events.”

Taelae: “During the trials someone gave them the wrong pool location and they all leapt into the lavaflow near the Temple of Ro. The only survivors were two Froglok legs and some Kerran who smelled of burnt fur. Happily though the food shortage has been solved in the Ogre and Troll housing for the Games.”

Taelae: “It has come to our attention that some believe Folalala has been detained illegally from reporting tonight. We would like to assure the public this is not true.”

Folodu:Folodu/a tells rplfg (5), “lies!”

Folodu: “and slander”

Taelae: “Everything we did is perfectly legal in at least two small villages north of Thurgadin.”

Eolandae: “Ahem, that’s my own personal nicname for Fol :p ya canna use it it is umm copyrighted or something”

Xifia: “This just in, a new species of bird has been spotted all over norrath. They have enlarged bodys and fly in an organized platoon as they sweet the skys over the citys and releases large amounts of crap on everything and everyone”

Folodu: “fight fight fight!”

Taelae: “*tosses a bag of plat to Eol* Shh!”

Eolandae:”Ohh shinies! ”

Eolandae: “sorry folalala ”

Folodu: “no fight for my honor?”

Eolandae: “but but…SHINIES”

Taelae: “Cleaning crews are on their way…oh wait. This says they went the wrong way. Who keeps letting the stoned squirrel write directions???”

Folodu: “*holds a stone and a squirrel* Not me…”

Taelae: “Here is a first in NWN history. Eolandae has been named the NWN official Shinies Correspondant!”

Eolandae:”*dances around in her tutu and pom poms*”

Eolandae: “Did the newts return the acorn desk? :)

Taelae: “No and it should be!”

Folodu: “eye of newt”

Taelae: “It has been reported that anyone caught licking Lera the Frostfell Elf before Frostfell will not be getting presents this year.”

Orgo: “Oh but she tasty!”

Xifia: “in other related news, a strong gale has been blowing through the citys and all but Gorowyn and Neriak, citizens are lossing their clothing, drawers included.”

Taelae: “You may start licking her after Tinkerfest. Before that and she gets too small before Frostfell and sticky.”

Folodu: “that’s a nice breeze!”

Taelae: “Khimyra has been questioned about the gales and denies involvement.”

Orgo: “Kin Orgo eat da fairy?”

Taelae: “Only if she says yes.”

Trevis: “Did that report say ‘dwarves included’?”

Orgo: “Dat not gun happen…she like living”

Xifia: “Yes…”

Taelae: “So what you do is you pay someone to get her to sign a paper that says Eat Me and you are clear!”

Eolandae “Today in Norrath, shiny spawns were dramatically up. Reports in from Lavastorm, Everfrost, report an increase in shiny spawn in unhealthy locations like the bottom of lava pools and deep on icebergs…”

Orgo: “Gud idea… smart! Orgo no eat Taelae.”

Trevis: “Mental image of nakee dwarves. Ugh, what has been seen can not be unseen.”

Eolandae: “It is suspected that such a spawn led to the demise of the Halas Team tragically this week. Rumors whisper that Bristlebane is to blame”

Folodu: “fizzlethorpe is innocent!”

Eolandae: “Reports also describe the “stranger who gave directions” as short, nearly bald and laughign maniaccly”

Taelae: “*sighs and shakes her head* We have to stop letting him and that squirrel plan these events!”

Xifia: “Now in news related to the gods. Mithanial Marr was seen with a lack of clothing in the known area for Tunare. ”

Eolandae: “So as a general warning, do not pursue a shiny at the bottom of a volcano and never trust strangers with bad hair. that is all ”

Orgo: “Me hear Folodu wear overalls. Orgo want overalls!”

Eolandae: “folalala would never be seen in such common apparel *scoffs*”

Taelae: “I’d say take Folalalala’s”

Folodu: “nude or nothing!”

Shizouka: “eek?”

Eolandae: “I’m Eolandae Dark whisper, your NMN Shiny correspondent!”

Folodu: “i mean…”

Taelae: “In closing for the night…the Norrathian Games are a go and soon we are sure to see Najena leap from a flying Griffawn to float gracefully down onto the top of the hand at the dock.”

Folodu: “yay games!”

Taelae: “Let’s hope the match between the Ogres of Qeynos and the Ratongas of Freeport goes well! This is Taelae, one of your guest correspondants signing off!”

Folodu: “you have a pen to sign with?”

Orgo: “Me ogre, but me rooting for rats of Freeport. After dey win, I eat dem”

Taelae: “*shifty eyes* Er….do I need one?”

Folodu: “yes you do. Tradition”

Taelae; “That is a good way to deal with it!”

Folodu: “but it cant be your pen”

Folodu: “it has to be stolen or given to you”

Taelae: “*swipes Fol’s pen* Then that is taken care of!”

Taelae: “*RUNS*”

Folodu: “nuuu!”

Taelae: “*tosses to the Ogre* It’s Ratonga floavored! Eat it!”

Folodu: “8gets an attl’attl and chucks it at Tae*”

Eolandae: “EEP i gave her that pen! ”

Folodu: “she took my pen!”

Taelae: “It’s tradition!”

Eolandae: “yes but…she delivered the news broadcast…you’re lucky you still have pants”

Orgo: “Dere more news anchors now?”

Taelae: “Only when Folly-lalala is all tied up with a bow.”

Orgo: “Dat’s every night!”

Eolandae: “still call foul on you using my nickname for her lol”

Taelae: “I gave you shiny things to make up for it though. AND you are now an official correspondant!”

Taelae: “Head of the Shinies Division of News.”

Eolandae: “do i still have to wear te tutu?”

Taelae: “Who else gets that job?”

Orgo: “Yes!”

Taelae: “You can make your underlings wear them too!”

Orgo: “And Folodu wear da overalls!”

Greigh: “*places a turkey in his ratonga Pope rat Pope hat* Yous peoples is wierds.”

Taelae: “Or a tutu”

Eolandae: “Ohhh wee whole legions!”

Greigh: “Are yous troubled by strange noises in da night? Do Kerrans always looks down on you? Use too much head polish? You might be afflicted by beings an Erudites,.”

Taelae: “So try Erudite Be Gone today?”

Zheif: “apply directly to the forehead”

Greigh: “*grins*”

Greigh: “Apply Directlys to forehead!”

Greigh: “Apply Directlys to forehead!”

Taelae: “*facepalm*”

Folodu: “*takes badger balm and aplies it to forehead*”

Folodu: “Is it working?”

Greigh: “Yis, you growings nice mousatache.”

Author: Jethal