Nearly Midnight News – July 27


Chentelle looks at the clock then squees! “Almost time for NMN!”
Chentelle says, “Time for the news?!?”
“Newts? Why are we going on about newts?”
Chentelle says, “Newts? I didn’t say anything about newts. Though I hear they are tasty. If you like slimy stuff that is.”
“I like newts.”
“I have spoiled newts. *holds up a newt in a designer hat*”
Chentelle pinches her nose. “Ew gross!”
“Nearly Midnight Newts.” She gets a tiny disco ball and holds it near the newt.

“Welcome to the Nearly Midnight News.”

Eolandae steps into the news room wearing her now famous tutu. “Citizens of Norrath, Tonights NMN staff seeks the newts who absconded earlier with the news desk. Please address all correspondence to Folodu.”

“We have newts! We had newts! They stole our ….wait what? My desk?” Eolandae runs in and hands her the pen on a string!
Folodu blinks and looks at the pen. “But…my desk… Were they carpenter newts?”
Eolandae runs in with a tv tray. “Best I can do on short notice!” She flounces out with a swirl of taffeta.

Zaeed says, “*is latched on to the bottom of the tv tray*”
Folodu nods and takes the tray, setting her pen and little newt on it* Well…this is unorthodox…”

“Alright, on tonight’s Nearly Midnight News! We have… A shortage of leather goods in neriak? Really? It seems Cristanos sold a lot during the festival…and now they are out. Ah – anyone with some whips and ties…Umm…play safe, and keep it family friendly.”


“The Arcadium in Qeynos has released a new skin enhancement for Kerra and Ratonga. New Flea Protection! Side effects are minimal, including slight shifts into lamias, loose hair, and increased libido. In one qoute, a Kerra observed, “Well, I itch like crazy from the thing, but I feel really really friendly…””


“In other news, Freeport announces a new remodel in response to Qeynos’ recent upgrades. Never to be outdone, Lucan announced that “We are better! Have more money to spend! Make them look like the filthy Combine allies they are! Not surprisingly, Neriak has decided to sell them the materials. This is of course NOT to replace the leathergoods.”


“*looks at the writing on her arm* hmm…what else what else… Ah! Today, there was no thunder on the thundering steppes! We suppose Karana is involved, as they love karana there. Also, there is a leathergoods infusion in the Karana-worship places. The monsoon in Freeport, however, continues unabated. There are also leathergoods there as well.”


“I am Folodu Amrunrosse, and this has been the Nearly Midnight News.”

Zaeed says, “I HAVE A FRUIT! *Exclaims from under the tray*”
Zaeed stays latched onto the bottom of the tv tray, nibbling on a piece of fruit and looks like a koala bear.
Folodu eeks and drops the tray on Zaeed!
Zaeed falls back as the tray collapsed on top of him, the legs broken and newt floating in midair.
Zaeed twitches as he is still nibbling on the fruit, eyes in a swirl!
Zaeed squirms as he gets up, standing in front of Flo as he stares into the camera, a fruit hanging from his mouth as he walked towards the cameraman like a mindless ghoul.
Zaeed grabs the camerman and plops down on him, sucking on the head of the cameraman, drool all over it’s head.
Zaeed murmurs, “Braiiiiiiiins!” HeStarts heading towards Folodu as he limps* “Foloduuuuuuuuuuuu! Foloduuuuuuu!” He plops on top of Flo, passed out, sucking on her head.
“Ack! No! Where is that Unseelie now? ….EWWWW! It…it’s stuck…”

Author: Jethal