Wrestlemania Predictions


Well, I guess I’ll punish myself with Wrestlemania again this year.. at least it’s only $10 through the WWE Network. I really dont think I would shell out full price ever again, after HHH’s has seemed fit to allow screw jobs at the event, in the last few years. It didn’t used to be that way. Well, here are my predictions.

  • Divas: AJ Lee & Page vs The Bella Twins
    • Who gives a shit? Time to refill drinks and hit the bathroom.
    • It’s Wrestlemania and the Divas’ Title isn’t even on the line? Bullshit.
    • Perhaps if the WWE would get some actual female wrestlers and stop hiring models and porn stars, I might be more enthusiastic about this.
  • Bray Wyatt vs The Undertaker
    • It’s the Phenom of the WWE vs the backwoods cult weirdo. This could very well be a good match, and a final “passing of the torch” for the Taker. Honestly, a lot of fans and site commentators have been saying that This is the match that should have ended the Dead Man’s Wrestlemania streak, and Not Brock (part time roid head) Lesnar.
    • Prediction: Hard to tell.. but I’m saying Undertaker.. but, this will be his final match, as he passes the torch to Bray. Perhaps even giving his trademark one-knee tribute in respect.
  • HHH vs Sting
    • No, HHH, this is not the icon-v-icon match the fans wanted, get your ego in check. We wanted Sting vs Undertaker.
    • I can only see HHH Winning by cheating. Which he probably will.
    • Prediction: Lots of cheating by HHH, interference by the Authority members. HHH Wins as another symbolic “haha, wwe beat wcw” jab.
  • Rusev vs John Cena (For the US Title)
    • I am so tired of both of these guys.
    • Prediction: Rusev makes Cena mad, Cena gets pumpled and pulls it out at the last minute, giving Rusev his first official loss. The “Undefeated” thing has gone on too long. And I’m just tired as hell of Cena’s perpetual good guy shit. We get it, the kids love him and his merchandise would take a hit if he turned heal.
  • Randy Orton vs Seth Rollins
    • Two performers I’ve wished to see hit by a bus. Hey Randy, do you know who Seth Rollins is? YOU a few years ago.
    • Prediction: I’m calling for a DQ here. From either side.
  • Intercontinental Title Ladder Match
    • Bad News Barret defending against Stardust, Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, Dean Ambrose, R-Truth and Daniel Bryan.
    • A Ladder Match is usually entertaining to watch, lots of falls and close calls. Anyone remember the tag team of NMN? Yeah, a ladder match cost Joey Mercury his career and now he’s hanging with The Authority.
    • With 7 competitors, it’s too tough to call this one
  • Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
    • Battle Royals used to be a lot more entertaining to watch, when you really didn’t know who was going to win. But, it’s probably gonna come down to Big Show vs Kane in the end because they’ve been feuding.
  • Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar
    • The scary thing about this match is Lesnar.. he’s not a performer, he’s a fucking animal. He’s legitimately hurt people and ended careers. I really believe that they have a clause in his contract voiding his paycheck if he doesn’t follow the script. What happens when you put “performers” in with a real animal? Try throwing Tom Cruise in a real combat situation.. he wouldn’t last ten minutes. Ask John Cena, who got Suplexed back to the fucking stone-age over the summer.
    • Prediction: Reigns.. but the crowd is going to call bullshit on the outcome. Because there’s just no way he could believably win.
    • Add-on.. after Reigns wins, Seth Rollins cashes in the Money in the Bank contract. (yeah, duh)
Author: Jethal